Tandaleo, the Jungle Priestess
by Jeff Lewis

Tandaleo, the Jungle Priestess, rides a zebra bareback and hunts giant otters.  She is blond, wears bicep bracelets and a brown bullet-bra leotard, or at least I think she does.  I’ve never met her, only seen a picture.  You cannot expect a picture to fully capture the essence of a person, especially if it looks like it’s been lifted from a Revenge of the Amazon Woman comic book.

Trust is tough on the internet.  For example, one minute you can be discussing the finer points of worm composting with wriggles33—an investment banker from central Indiana with a penchant for potworms—on the Worm Digest posting board.  You become suspicious of wriggles33 when you start to notice aberrant “likes,” “y’alls” and an informed reference to Charmed on the WB.  When pressed, wriggles33 admits to being Staci, the treasurer of her 4H club and a twirler in her high school’s marching band.  Staci, Staci, what will they say in your youth group?  Don’t worry, though.  Your secret is safe with me!!!  LOL, ROFLMAO ;)

I mention Tandaleo, the Jungle Priestess, because she was the first stranger to link her website to mine.  Granted, prancyhorse.com was not featured as prominently as the website on the history of butter or Conway Twitty’s unofficial fan club, but I’ll take anything I can get at this point.  Building a global presence is difficult, especially if you are banking on the marketability of a dastardly, reactionary Lippizaner stallion with a pink coat and salmon mane.  You’ve got to appreciate your allies, be they VPs of Sales for the Pacific Rim or Tandaleo, the Jungle Priestess.

A couple of weeks ago, I signed up for a free service that tracks visitors to my website.  It lets me know how many people visit the website and were they live.  I learned that 8% of my audience is in the U.K.  My parents live in the U.K.; I surmise that this is not a coincidence.  Sadly, the web data also indicates that I am 52% of my audience.  On the positive side, somebody in Costa Rica accessed prancyhorse.com, unless the statistics service confused San Jose, Costa Rica with San Jose, California.

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It’s been several days since I first joined forces with Tandeleo, the Jungle Priestess.  I decided to look her up again, possibly to establish a rapport and cement our partnership.  Alas, our union was fleeting.  Prancyhorse.com no longer graces the pages of her website.  What’s more, it appears that my “Tandy, JP” was not honest with her fans, seeing as how she’s changed her name to “morbidly obese (& lovin' it!)” and looks like the sumo wrestler Akibono, now in need of his own bullet bra.

I knew full well that I couldn’t expect a traditional working relationship with Tandy, but why did she have to trade in the zebra?  Trust is tough on the internet.

Copyright Jeff Lewis, 2004